God is not…your grandfather

Grandparents. We’ve all had them. If you’re young enough, perhaps you still do.

What are/were yours like? What are your favourite memories you’ve made with them? Places they took you? Things you did together? Things they taught you?

The question I’d really like you to think about is: how are/were they different from your parents?

The answer to that will be different for everyone. Some people might not have known their grandparents at all. Or their parents. Or both. I’m certainly not expecting everyone to have had the same experiences.

Nevertheless, the stereotype exists of a child’s grandparents generally being more laidback, more lenient, more interested in having fun and giving treats, than their parents.

At the same time the parents will generally be stricter, more likely to enforce the rules and more likely to insist that treats be earned and homework/chores come before play.

Again, this is obviously not true for everyone, but it’s true for enough people that the stereotype exists.

Why do I mention any of this?

I want to help you understand that within the context of this stereotype, God is a lot more like the parent.

This is important to think about because a lot of people seem to view him as being a lot more like the grandparent.

I’ve heard people describe him in those terms, focussing so much on his love for humanity that everything else we’re told about him gets squeezed out, and even his love is reframed to become an unconditional adoration of us that can never be withdrawn.

God loves us, but he doesn’t indulge us. He doesn’t hand out a constant stream of unearned treats.

His focus is not on giving you nice things and happiness in your life now. His goal is to use this life to prepare you for the eternal life to come.

Eternal life is of course absolutely an unearned gift, but it isn’t just handed to us with no strings attached. It requires a lifelong commitment on our part, which includes repentance from our sins and a total change of heart and lifestyle.

Why use this analogy?

God isn’t the lenient grandfather who will laugh indulgently when he hears about a child’s misdeeds. I’ve heard people describe God in a way that (at least tacitly) implies he will save you and give you eternal life no matter what you believe or what you do, because he just has so much love.

That’s obviously not the Biblical view of God, but it can be difficult to argue against it without looking like you’re somehow trying to diminish God’s love.

That’s why I find it helpful to use the analogy of the stereotypical parent vs grandparent. Do stereotypical grandparents love their grandchildren? Of course. But that kind of love isn’t all the child needs.

The discipline, the structure and the encouragement to learn and improve and rectify their mistakes are also an essential form of love. Any parent knows that’s what children really need.

Parents don’t do it for fun (believe me – I have three young kids). They do it because they want their children to become independent and functioning adults. They’re looking ahead to the future, not just fun and sweeties in the present moment.

The stereotypical grandparent might not do so much or even any of that, because they know they’ll be handing the children back to mum and dad at the end of the day!

God isn’t going to entertain us and then hand us over to someone else to be disciplined and instructed. He’s going to do a lot more of the latter than the former.

While God is always ready to forgive, he will never simply laugh off your unrepented sin and forget about it.

Those who see God’s love expressed only in a desire to give us happiness and self-actualisation are overlooking every other aspect of his character and interactions with humanity. They’re expecting him to be that indulgent grandfather figure, rather than the genuinely loving father who takes his children’s upbringing seriously.

Jesus said “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

There’s a crucial clarification to make here. Jesus taught that your faith must be childlike but not childish.

What’s the difference?

A childlike faith is one which trusts God to make good decisions and to always have your best interests at heart. It’s a feeling of certainty that you’re safe in his care and that he loves you as his own. It’s also an acceptance that he will teach you and discipline you for your own good.

A childish faith is one which looks for someone who’ll never get angry with you, never tell you to change, who’ll adore you no matter what you do and constantly give out treats.

There are no doubt many reasons why people might end up with this distorted view of God as the stereotypical grandfather rather than father.

It could be due to negative experiences with one’s own parents. Or perhaps negative experiences of people within church who were in a position of ‘eldership’ but whose teaching and discipline were not based on the best interests of the younger person.

Whatever difficulties you or anyone else may have had, it doesn’t change the fact that God’s love is always available to you. He’s always waiting for you to come to him, to repent, to trust and to follow.

But he’s not your grandfather. He’s not going to indulge you, coddle you, ignore your sins or hand you off to someone else.

He’s your father. He loves you more than you can possibly imagine and always wants to do what is best for you. The only question is: do you trust him enough to let him do that in the way he knows best?