Last week we considered what Jesus meant by the word “merciful”: both a willingness to forgive wrongs done to us and to show kindness to those in need.
We also concluded that Jesus was not referring to people who forgive or show kindness on a handful of one-off occasions, but rather to people whose attitude towards other is consistently merciful throughout their lives.
Today we’ll ask the obvious question: how can you develop that attitude (if you don’t have it already) or display it even more (if you do)?
The first question we might ask is whether mercy as a lifelong attitude or characteristic is something that comes to you naturally or whether it’s something you have to learn and develop, perhaps even in spite of your natural inclinations.
It seems to me the answer is: probably a bit of both.
A willingness to forgive and show kindness towards those closest to you – such as your family and closest friends – is likely something you would do without too much hesitation, regardless of whether you are a Christian or not.
It’s natural to do these things, and biologists can provide plausible explanations as to how such behaviours might have come about through some sort of evolutionary process: showing care to those closest to you and maintaining harmony amongst your immediate family or friendship group would significantly increase the chance of your offspring’s survival.
However, Jesus expects us to rise above whatever limited positive behaviours our natural instincts might encourage. He asks us to show mercy to everyone, even those we like the least:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect
(Matthew 5:43–48)
Showing mercy to those you love is natural to most people. Showing it to people you don’t know (for example, giving to charity or to a homeless person in town) may be a common thing which many people do.
But forgiving and showing kindness to people who hate you or treat you like dirt? That’s not so easy.
So how can you do it? Let’s consider three points.
The example of Jesus.
Firstly, when Jesus spoke of “enemies”, he probably didn’t mean that person at work you really don’t like or that neighbour you’ve never been able to get on with. He said “those who persecute you”.
Depending on your life experience, you may or may not ever have been seriously persecuted or mistreated by someone who was determined to harm or even destroy you.
Jesus, while hanging on the cross, was able to say “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they’re doing“. It’s a matter of debate whether he was referring to the Jewish religious leaders who’d deceived and conspired to bring about his crucifixion, or to the Roman soldiers who were brutally carrying it out – or perhaps both – but either way, that’s the example for us to follow.
There are not many things human beings can do to each other which are worse than crucifixion. It was specifically designed to be incredibly painful, humiliating and last a very long time. You and I are unlikely to experience anything quite so horrific as that.
And yet Jesus was able to show mercy to those responsible for his suffering. He overcame his natural instincts calling for him to use divine power to escape or to seek revenge, and submitted meekly to the death that would save us from our sins.
Put others first
Our second point is, as I just mentioned, that Jesus endured the cross and demonstrated mercy to his executioners not simply in order to display a godly characteristic, but so that we could be saved from our sins.
One of the best ways to develop an attitude of mercy is to consistently put the needs and wellbeing of others before your own desires.
Paul wrote to the church at Philippi:
…be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus…
(Philippians 2:2–5)
Everything that Jesus did was focussed on God’s desire to create a family of people to live in the Kingdom for eternity. That’s why he taught the people, healed the sick, called sinners to repentance, rebuked hypocrites, lived out the perfect example and ultimately went to a willing death on the cross.
The same goal should be the foundation for all of your actions and decisions too. In any given situation, always ask yourself: what would help another person reach the Kingdom of God?
An attitude of mercy is an essential component of that. Forgiving people when they mistreat you is a powerful way of showing what God is like, particularly if you do so in a way that your culture would not expect. Repentance is the first step to becoming a permanent member of God’s family, and by forgiving people when they might expect you not to, you can show them that it’s possible to take this step.
There may be times when helping another person reach the Kingdom of God will mean correcting mistaken beliefs or calling out unacceptable behaviour. Jesus certainly did both of these things. However, as in all things, these must be done with an attitude of mercy, with the end goal always being the other person’s eternal salvation.
Not of this world
The third point is that our hope is not in this life.
An attitude of mercy is generally not something that will get you ahead in this world. Forgiving others rather than capitalising on their mistakes may cause you to miss opportunities for self-advancement or self-protection. Showing kindness to those in need may take up time and money that could be used to improve your own situation.
To be a Christian will require you to make sacrifices, such as giving up opportunities to advance your career or enter relationships or even ensure your own safety. This will require you to overcome your natural instincts towards self-preservation or pleasure.
You can do this by focussing on the far greater happiness and fulfilment you will experience in the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is not something we can bring about through our own efforts or our own moral virtues. It is something we can only wait for God to bring about. And it will be worth every moment of sacrifice or hardship you might have to endure in this life.
Nihilist to Christian 